ISBN: 9781-59948-673-4, ~40 pages, $12
Projected Release Date: March 2018
A Discount Price of $6.50 will be available for a limited time prior to publication and may be discontinued at any time.
PLEASE NOTE: Ordering in advance of the release date entitles the buyer to a discount. It does not mean the book will ship before the date posted above and the price only applies to copies ordered through the Main Street Rag Online Bookstore.
About The Author
David Garyan received an MA and MFA from Cal State Long Beach, where he associated himself with the Stand Up Poets, and continues to do so. His previous two chapbooks were published by Main Street Rag. He is blessed to call Los Angeles his home because there is so much traffic all around; this gives the writer a convenient excuse to focus on his work, and feel good about not going anywhere.
David Garyan’s #Anti-Social Media Outrage takes us on an exploration of landscapes from New York City, Hollywood Boulevard, the wilderness, and the mind. The lean and sparse language asks readers to accompany him into new territories. His narrator shows us how to accept the “bald spots” which come with the experiences and encounters that age people as they wander. These poems are fresh with rebellion. They take the reader on a voyage that clearly maps out this revolt. —Rafael Zepeda, author of Tao Driver and Selected Poems
Wry, laconic, hyper-aware of the idiocies people slog through every day, David Garyan is a young poet who already sounds like no one else. “Don’t like me—you’ll be disappointed,” he warns in his new collection, #Anti-Social Media Outrage. Okay, I’ve been warned. Still, I’ve got to say, I really like these poems. —Charles Harper Webb, author of Brain Camp and A Million MFAs Are Not Enough
#New York City
Let’s chain smoke
the Hudson River’s mouth.
Honestly, I’m jealous.
Why don’t people kiss
me when my breath stinks?
Make me a supermodel
who can eat cheeseburgers, too.
I’ll grow big like you,
and people will still love
me for being toll-taking.
Forgive me, dear; I must work overtime.
I’m chasing paper
in a city that’s losing her trees.
Hear ye, hear ye:
That’s the actor
who’s sick of pretending
to be someone else.
New York, will you know that I’ve left?
Probably not, but if I stay until you evict me,
there’s a small chance you might notice.
#Anti-Social Media Outrage
My ego is a logger
walking through Yosemite.
My heart is an account
donating to charity.
My greed is a mortician
watching soldiers being ambushed.
My empathy is a court reporter
typing dreadful testimonies.
My addiction is a moonshiner
in the 12-step program.
I’m an acting coach
I’m a color-blind artist.
I’m a police officer
that’s not color-blind.
My apathy is an ambulance driver
who obeys traffic laws in emergencies.
I sell crutches next to minefields.
My humor is the barbershop next to cancer clinics.
My irony brought democracy
to people who voted against it.
In life, they lock up the bad people; in capitalism, they lock up the good stuff. —Ozka Wild
For a limited time,
double your Prozac prescription
and receive 10% off the latest revolvers.
Order within the next ten minutes
and we’ll engrave your name on a bullet for free.
Don’t just play Russian Roulette—
make it personal.
Have you or your loved one been arrested?
Looking to pin the crime
on a homeless person?
Don’t wait, dial 8!
Rest assured, all our investigators have been fired
from elite police departments. With years of corrupt detective
experience, they’ll take the unemployed
off the street and give them homes behind bars.
Pick up the phone and call! Pricing varies by location.
Tired of going to doctors
who have fancy degrees and know nothing?
Our board-certified paranormal investigators
and on-call spiritual healers are waiting
to assist you.
Book an appointment
in the next twenty minutes,
and we promise to cure dysentery
with toilet water and a strand
of your baby hair—hurry, this deal won’t last long.
Come, lease the all-new 2025 Shamster,
powered by twin jet engines—
a fuel efficient five blocks per gallon
on the street, and seven freeway exits
per gallon on the highway—
eco-friendly heat-seeking missiles
to blow up traffic, available on
coupe models only.
Are you tired of watching what you say?
Don’t be. With the new Word Watchers
Linguistics Program you don’t have to eat
any of your words. Our revolutionary
new formula is clinically
proven to help you scream “bomb”
in a crowded theater. Don’t lose semantic weight!
Gain words now!
Get the freedom you deserve.
But wait! If you order within the next ten seconds,
you’ll get the James Brown
“Freedom of Speech” permit for only $39.95—
say it loud then say it louder. Pride sold separately.
Speaking rights revocable at any time.
Must take delivery by Independence Day.